This entry title may confuse some of you who know me and some of you who read this blog (a presumptuous statement perhaps, considering about 5 people probably actually read my witty banter on here). But let me clarify. I have been, and continue to be, against marriage as an institution, be it gay or straight. I believe marriage is an assimilationist, heteronormative, antiquated institution that should be done away with. But I think we can all agree that that is not going to happen anytime soon in our society, so that point is neither here nor there for the purposes of this entry. My basic belief about marriage is that if straights can do it, queers should be able to, as well, if we want to.

So the point I want to make is just as the title suggests: queer youth should support same-sex marriage. I know this issue is not at the top of many queer youth activists’ lists of priorities, but perhaps it should be. I see/hear many queers writing/saying that the marriage fight has drained resources from other areas of activism and that we should not even be worrying about marriage. Some cite the founders of the gay rights movement as examples of reasons we should not support gay marriage. They point out that the movement started as a means of gaining acceptance of the queer community as is, not to gain the right to be more like the straight folk. This is true, and I believe these points are valid. I, for one, take pride in being queer (read “different”). I mean, in how many cultures can you see a six-foot drag queen in platform thigh-high boots and a butch in cover-alls in the same place? (Pardon my reduction to stereotypes, but we all know there’s truth in that statement). I think that’s pretty great.

In a perfect world, the ideals of the gay rights movement would have been realized, and queers would be accepted as is. But in reality, not so much. So how do we get to that point? Well, lots of education of the public, time, and effort on our part, for one. But a huge obstacle in the way of that goal is still government-sanctioned inequality of queers. That is why sodomy laws were targeted, and that is why marriage is being targeted now.

I still believe that many other issues exist and need attention, but whether we like it or not, marriage has become the central focus of the gay rights movement for a reason—well many reasons, actually. First, it is an exclusively queer issue. That is to say, issues such as school bullying, teen homelessness, and HIV/AIDS affect the general population (granted they are more prevalent among queers). But the fact remains: efforts to combat those problems need to be coming from more than just queer activists. I am not discounting these as issues that we should advocate, but rather clarifying the difference between these issues and that of gay marriage.

Second, marriage is achievable and quantifiable. People like to be able to see that real progress is being made, and with marriage it is very easy to say, “We’ve got same-sex marriage in X number of states.” And as for the achievable part, well, it’s already a reality in 6 states.

Third, and a reason I’ve already stated, queers not being able to marry is sanctioned by the government. Again, not to downplay the issue, but something such as school bullying is not condoned by the government. While the enforcement of bullying rules may still be an issue, it is not formally written that bullying of queers is okay while bullying of straights is not. Once the stigma of being formally shunned by our own government is removed, I believe many of these other issues will be much easier to tackle.

So, to those of you who denounce the “mainstream” movement’s infatuation with marriage, I hope this post at least makes you think twice. Gay marriage and queer youth issues are not mutually exclusive. We, as youth, can and should support both.