Should it matter who I love?

Contributed by Elizandra Martinez, President of Eros (Gay-Straight Alliance) and Active Minds (Mental Health Advocacy) at
Regis University, Denver, CO

Dominique de Menil said, “What should move us to action is human dignity: the inalienable dignity of the oppressed, but also the dignity of each of us. We lose dignity if we tolerate the intolerable.”

My senior year in high school started strong. I was captain for varsity athletics in basketball and soccer and was looking to lead my teams further than the previous seasons. I also had the opportunity to serve my school as Student Body President, and I was tied for first academically in my class. My senior year all changed in the matter of months. Many can’t wait until their 18th birthday, but I was one of those who were dreading it. After that day, my life would be forever changed. Now that I was considered an adult, the parents of the girl that I was in a relationship with now had the law on their side. Her parents took the matter to the school and told the administrators that we were not allowed to have contact. We happened to be on the same basketball team, so of course we would talk. After we had contact the administration told me that I disobeyed authority. Over the course of the next two months I was suspended from school, got kicked off my sports teams, had a suicide attempt and spent a night in jail due to a mutual restraining order violation (which was dismissed), all because I was a lesbian. Then the school took my responsibilities of student body president away they said, “we cannot have someone like you leading our school.”

I am not alone in experiencing a desire to die from the pain that intolerance causes.

Did you know?

• Non-heterosexual college students were 2.56 times more likely than heterosexual students to have seriously considered attempting suicide.
• Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual (LGB) youth are 1 to 7 times more likely to have attempted suicide than heterosexual youth.
• LGB youth suicide attempts have higher intent to die and higher lethality than heterosexual peers.
• A Yale University study showed that 42 percent of gay and lesbian students surveyed had suffered some form of physical aggression while at the university.

As the SoulForce website states, we must remember that: “Suicide attempts are often caused by the stress of a homophobic society. People are not killing themselves because they are gay, but because they are dealing with a society that discriminates.”

While there are many research challenges when looking at the relationship between sexual orientation and suicide, there are some consistent findings that would indicate that GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered) youth and young adults experience higher rates of suicidal ideation and attempts. What we also need to remember is that many young people who identify as non-heterosexual or as having non-conforming gender identity do not engage in suicidal behavior, and those protective factors that bolster mental resilience in a discriminating society are critical to the suicide prevention work at hand.

When I came to college I made a choice to commit to my passions – so I serve as the president for both our Gay-Straight Alliance and our Active Minds Mental Health Advocacy Groups and I encourage faculty, staff and students to “save lives by respecting the dignity and worth of every person.”

Resources
The Trevor Project: www.TheTrevorProject.org
PFLAG: Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: www.PFLAG.org
Gay Lesbian Straight Educators Network (GLSEN): www.GLSEN.org
United States Conference of Catholic Bishops statement “Always Our Children”
People Prevent Suicide – A Clearinghouse of Resources of Campus Stakeholders: www.PeoplePreventSuicide.org

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